Blue Heart to Red

It’s the same.

I still have the same issues with different people.

I don’t know what to do.

Dear Cupcake ;)
        You requested for a simple Facebook post, despite this, I found myself writing you a letter. I hope you see how much your friendship matters to me.
        We met under dreaded circumstances; in the clutches of a witch by the name of Homes. Like the awkward child I am, I walked gracelessly to you and asked if it was okay to sit with you in a tiny voice. And fortunately, you said yes. And from then on began our friendship.
           Sophomore year was the best and you played a big role of making it so. In Geometry, we would procrastinate and you would tell you high heel stories and we’d laugh about all the funny things you’d do to jerk guys and all my ”pervert” ideas.  And the sub totally thought you were cute, not creepy after B told him all your “ideas”. We had the best time and English and I miss our deep discussion and our weird question sessions during lunch. Whether it was, “Lights on or off,” or “Would you genetically modify your child?” we would always find a way to dazzle the crowd. And by that I mean, creep then out. Mo called me a pervert and Sweet was forced to suffer our tyranny. “He” would always look over, and not just because we we loud, but because he couldn’t help but notice you. I swear he was totally looking at you!! I mean how could he possibly resist?? And well, if he by some unfathomable reason was not staring at you, that’s his loss.
              Junior year is so stressful; I barely see you. My day just isn’t the same without you. During lunch I reminisce and wish for you presence. Although I had attempted to start the “Interviews” during lunch it was an epic failure for none active participated other than me. In English I wish you’d attend just a bit more. I‘d rather dally and talk with you on whatever instead of doing actual work .
               I have the highest of hopes for you. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met and I know you shall succeed and whether than be as a physical therapist or not you shall be out in the world making a difference. You’ll find you prince charming and hey, maybe you’ll even meet William Levi! But whoever you’ll find, he’ll thank his lucky stars every day for such finding such a wonderful girl. You’ll have your dream wedding in a pristine chapel with your proud parents tearing at the sight of you in a wedding dress. I hope you’ll call and allow me the honor of seeing you on your big day; I’ll probably cry.
            I hope that my  we remain life-long friend. And if life should split us apart, I wish you only the best. I’ll look back through my year book one day in my adult years and point to your picture and say to those whoever closest to me, “That’s my best friend.” I hope you look back and do the same.
            If we are fated to drift apart, I want you to know you’ve made these years of high school so much better. I cherish your friendship and hope all your wishes come true. It’s impossible to forget you- who had made such an impact on my life. Don’t forget me.

With Love, Kiichipan.

     Thinking about the future makes me sad; but the present is no better. What I really want…What I really want is to laugh the way I breathe, to find my person just for me, to be accepted, live with meaning.

The question is how.

Love, Kiichipan.